Wednesday, July 13, 2011


I wonder where we, as humans, draw the line on natural instinct. I've personally been known to ignore a gut reaction or find a way to reason my way around it when I didn't want to think about what it might mean. I've been doing it for years. And no matter how well I talk myself out of something, or how long the illusion lasts, eventually it comes back around to that first feeling. And then I want to kick myself.

How I feel about something when I first wake up seems to be the most unbiased opinion I can muster. I'm still groggy, I've had dreams all night, and for a few minutes, my brain doesn't kick on. My subconscious has the upper hand because my conscious mind is still yawning. Sometimes it's a beautiful thing. But usually, I don't like the impression I get.

That feeling can be great, though. I've gotten up in the middle of the night with a brilliant idea for a novel or a poem. I've had dreams that make fantastic stories.

It's a feeling I would like to have some control over. I'd like to be able to tap into that creative power at will.

Unfortunately, that also means that I'll have to pay attention to the negative aspects as well.


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