Tuesday, March 3, 2015


I've been braving the online dating world for years, but the last year has been particularly difficult. After the way my last serious relationship ended, I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to truly trust anyone again. But, being the stubborn individual I am, I plowed on. I've gotten past the first few rocky months of being back at sea and I am now comfortable enough to laugh about it, if not enjoy the ride.

Unfortunately, when you're introducing yourself to someone new, the topic of What You Like to Do undoubtedly comes up. This is how the conversation usually goes...

Me: I'm a writer.
Them: A writer? Cool. What do you write?
Me: Sci-fi/Fantasy novels.
Them: Wow. Are any of them published?
Me: Not at the moment.
This pause makes me cringe because they always ask why I haven't published. And there are a number of reasons for it. It's not that I can't get published. I haven't tried. But the fact that I identify myself as a writer automatically translates to publication in their mind. If I'm not published, there must be something wrong with me. Or something wrong with my writing.

It makes me want to scream. I have had this conversation countless times and it always ends in me trying to explain the process of publication and how time consuming subbing can be and how with everything going on in the past few years I haven't had time to breathe, let alone do serious writing, and their eyes glaze over and I know I've lost them. They nod and smile politely and tell me it will happen one day. If I were a dog, they would pat me on the head and say, "Good girl. Now go play."

It's my choice when and if I want to sub for publication. I am well aware of how much time and effort goes into these things and I feel if I'm not prepared to take it seriously and devote the necessary effort, I shouldn't bother. It's a waste of everyone's time.

Do I want to publish? Yes.

Do I need to do it now? No.

Do I care if that bothers you? Definitely not. So, shut up about it.

I think I need to have a t-shirt made.