Friday, May 20, 2011

Comedic Interlude

So, I haven't posted much this week. To make up for it (or perhaps I'm just being lazy) I'm going to share an excerpt from my current labor of love, a revision of the novel Runaway, which is a sequel to Chosen, the novel I posted a bit from last time. This piece once again features Jaden and Thor, best friends and trouble makers. 
This piece takes place in a cell, where the two buds are being held captive and slowly starving to death. I know that sounds depressing, but it really isn't. At least, they still manage to find a little humor in it.
“Hey, Jay-Jay?” Thor said, breaking the silence.
“I have to piss.”
Jaden scoffed somewhere beyond his line of vision. “Congratulations.”
“No, I mean I have to piss.”
“So, piss.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t get up.”
“Have you tried?”
Thor ignored the condescending tone in his friend’s voice. “Of course I’ve tried.”
“Well, what do you want me to do about it?”
“Help how?”
“Thor, I’m not helping you take a piss.”
“If I was drunk, you’d do it.”
“If you were drunk, you’d already have wet pants.”
“Jay-Jay,” he whined.
“I hate it when you do that with your voice.”
“I need you to help.” Thor hoped his tone expressed complete desperation. He didn’t feel far from it.
“Oh, fine.” Thor heard Jaden grunt several times as he got up from his own pile of dirty hay. His dirt-streaked face appeared above him moments later. “You’re such a baby,” he said, taking hold of Thor’s bony arm.
Thor tried not to look at the skin stretched too tightly over his limbs. “We have to get out of here.”
“What are we going to do?” Jaden asked, supporting his friend as they shuffled toward the stinking bucket in the corner. “Make a break for it?”
“The thought crossed my mind.”
“You can’t even take a piss on your own. How the hell are you going to run for your life?”
Thor’s breathing was already labored and they weren’t quite halfway across the cell yet. “I’ll ride piggyback.”
“On who?”
“On you.”
“Ha. We’ll never make it out.”
“I have faith in you, Jay-Jay.”
“That’s wonderful, but you better be able to take care of business once we make it to that bucket.”
“I’m not that tired.”
“I never know with you, man. Sometimes you make me wonder if all those accidental nude sightings were really accidental.”
Thor pushed him away. “That’s it. I’m peeing on my own from now on.”
Jaden laughed. “You’re such a drama queen.”
“Yeah, yeah, turn around, buddy,” Thor said as he approached the bucket. “No free shows for you.”
Jaden obliged.
“Ahh,” Thor sighed as he finished. “Much better.”
“Don’t forget to shake.”
“I got it, thanks.”
“Just making sure.”
Thor ensured that all things were tucked in their proper places before turning around. He wrapped an arm around Jaden. “We need to get out of here.”
Jaden crinkled up his nose. “You didn’t wash your hands.”
“What do you think this is? A luxury hotel?”
“Well, you don’t have to touch me.”
Thor rubbed his hands up and down Jaden’s arms.
The dark-haired man jumped back, shrieking in disgust.
Thor roared with laughter. “Oh,” he said, wiping his eyes. “That was priceless.”
“That was disgusting,” Jaden said, trying to wipe off the germs.
“I so needed that.”
“Glad I could help.”
“Oh, Jay-Jay,” he said with a happy sigh, “You make me want to love you, man.”
“All right,” Jaden said, rolling down his shirt sleeves as if to ward off future attacks, “But next time you have to buy me dinner first.”

Did you smile just a little? 

- Liz

Sunday, May 15, 2011

....Something Completely Different

So, apparently I'm a freak. This doesn't come as a complete surprise, as I already knew I was strange, but now I'm officially in uncharted territory.

My best friend is home from school for a few days. We got together yesterday, did a little shopping, went out to lunch, and caught up on all of the horrible things that have happened since we last spoke. We went back to her place around 7:30p and she invited another friend over, someone I went to high school with (though she was a few years ahead of me), but hadn't seen in quite some time.

It was a little awkward, but I can deal with that. My best friend had mentioned this person was working on a book (she's going to grad school so she can teach creative writing) and I thought, "Ooo! Common ground!" She had done a reading just the night before. Upon learning about this, I thought that maybe this reunion could open new doors for me. Perhaps she and I would get along and I might meet a few more creative people. She's always been into the art crowd. I figured this could be good.

Unfortunately, she and I are both writers, but that's where the similarities stop. I write fiction; she writes nonfiction. I've completed a decent number of manuscripts; she's still working on her first. I never really had formal training; she's getting her master's. The list goes on and on.

She spoke about how unmotivated she is to finish her project. How she keeps making deadlines that never pan out. She'd spent the entire day writing. And I tried to sympathize. But the problem is, I don't really have those issues. I don't make deadlines because I don't need to make deadlines. If I'm going to write, I'm going to write, and I'll produce several thousand words in a matter of hours, and have them edited before I close up shop. I have no problem coming up with story lines that span multiple books. And I'm fairly young, so I'm not all that worried about rushing to get published right now.

The more we talked, the more I realized that those great ideas I had weren't going to pan out. And that's okay. Everyone is different. I might not click with her, but I click with plenty of other people.

And then I had a few drinks and started commenting on comma splices in what my best friend was saying.

So, maybe not plenty of other people....


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Slush You

So, I'm beginning to doubt my ability to spell. With all of the spell check and auto complete programs on the market, you could have a terrible vocabulary and a fifth trade education and send an email that makes you sound as though you've just left finishing school.

I've only noticed this because I have a new cell phone. It's an HTC Thunderbolt with an auto complete text function. When I first got the phone, I thought it was amazing. I mean, I've never had to text on a touch screen before. I'm terrible. Find the apostrophe button? I'll need a few minutes. It turned my sloppy, mispellled, incomprehensible sentences onto exactly what I wanted to say. And then it didn't.

Here's the thing. Auto complete/correct programs do just that. They complete and correct automatically. And they don't often recognize slang. So in what might have been an otherwise endearing moment, "Shush, you" became "slush you" and the conversation deteriorated from there.

I'm not going to get up on my soapbox and give a speech about kids today. I'm not going to talk about how the coming generations are practically going to be illiterate if something isn't done. You've undoubtedly heard it before. I just have to wonder what would become if us if our electronics where disabled permanently. What would happen to authors? I don't know about you, but I would have a hard time editing (not to mention writing) 400+ hand written pages.

It's something to consider.

Especially since I'm writing this on my phone, and without my auto correct function, it would look like it was written in Klingon.


Sunday, May 8, 2011

Regularly Scheduled Programming

So, I haven't posted anything in a while. Here's why:

Aren't they adorable? Boy and a girl, two months old. We've named them Fred and Ginger (hopefully you like old musicals and get the reference) and our current feline is mad, mad, MAD. The new additions to our family are currently living in the bathroom (with a pretty nice set up, if I do say so myself) and we've been introducing the new to the old a little bit at a time. Today was the first day our old lady cat (though not so old, at five years) didn't sound like she was turning on a garbage disposal. They even mingled (from a safe distance) in the same room without any major mishaps. So, yay for expanding the family!

I've also been working to finish my 2010 NaNo project, Bleed. It's a sci-fi/paranormal piece that I haven't devoted enough time to lately. But this week, I figured out a few big things that I want to happen in the second half of the book, and guess what? I seem to have known all along (at least subconsciously) what I was going for. The foreshadowing is there in a truly perfect way that I can't really claim the credit for, though I suppose I must, as no one else has worked on it.

With the (roughly) three thousand words I added to it this week, the rough draft weighs in at a little over 38k.

I must say I'm quite excited.

Maybe I should share a preview? :)