Wednesday, March 28, 2012

In My Opinion, Everyone Thinks You're an Idiot

There are certain types of people I hate. And, as an author, and as a human being, I know that stereotypes aren't 100% accurate. People just can't be fit into tiny boxes and labeled. People need many boxes and many labels, and sometimes, many different colors of labels.

That being said, here are a few types of people that make my skin crawl:

1. The Good Guy- The kind of guy that is always there for you, when he doesn't have something else better to do. He's kind and considerate, when time allows. He's even a dotting boyfriend, if he's getting something out of it. He wishes you well and wishes there was something he could do to make you feel better, but you just really wish he would shut up. For a while, The Good Guy may fool you into thinking he is the perfect man. But when you realize that The Good Guy is really full of shit, every time he smiles and hopes you feel better, you  want to smash his face into the sidewalk.

2. The Ritualist- I am all for good hygiene, but there are some people that take it a little too far. They bleach the color out of their hair, only to add in six shades of blonde that no one would ever think could be natural. They tan their skin, wax off every ounce of body hair, and feel terrible if they don't run their six miles before dashing to spin class. These are the kind of people that really could be beautiful, if they weren't so busy trying to make themselves into someone else. It's sad and annoying all at the same time.

3. The Competitor- "Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you. " The people who take competition to a pathological level. They are smarter than you, better dressed than you, much sexier, and they live their lives with stunning accuracy and style. It doesn't matter what you do, they have thought of it first, done it better, and claimed a spot in the record books for the rest of eternity. They are also exceedingly accomplished at being the biggest ass at every conference table.

4. The Fine Fibber- The girl who is always "fine." Nothing is ever wrong. Nothing could touch her perky attitude and dazzling smile. She is the kind of person who remains upbeat in a crisis, and heals with love. She is also the person you know will someday snap and kill everyone within a hundred foot radius.

5. The Silver Spoon- The one who has it all. All the friends, all the money, all the class. They are intelligent, beautiful, musically inclined, and a champion of athletics. They conquer any hurdle set before them, and celebrate with a little world travel. You secretly know that there is no way their life could be that perfect, but you wouldn't mind if they took a spill down the staircase anyway.

That's all that immediately came to mind. I use these people in my writing, because I see them in real life. Though, sometimes, I wish I didn't.


No comments:

Post a Comment